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Even though I knew it was probably going to be the last time I’d see him, I felt no sadness. When he got back on that train and we parted ways, saying goodbye was easy and sweet.

Men who are 15 or even 20 years older can appear more confident, more stable, and even sexier than their younger counterparts.

I wonder what relationships between men and women who were supported in that development would look like.

Unconsciously absorbed and acted out, that narrative had done its work on me without my knowledge; it’s safe to say I’m not alone in being unaware of the societal conditioning at play in my intimate relationships.

We talked about stargazing and constellations and shared an interest in permaculture.

Older guys can also seem more stable, and many older men are looking to marry. He doesn't engage in late-night drinking binges with his friends.It was an unspoken transaction, a power dynamic that discreetly entitled him to my compliance and affection, an undercurrent that I don’t think either of us perceived at the time.In defying social norms, I’d actually just been reinforcing them. It’s far more acceptable and common for older men to date younger women in our culture.It’s reflected back to us everywhere: in the media, in movies and magazines, and in our professional and personal lives.It’s , Woody Allen and almost every Woody Allen film; it’s our current president; your female co-worker who has an affair with her much older male boss; it’s the neighbor down the street whose second wife is half his age.

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