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Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is too weird for words and 100% purely coincidental.CHAPTER 1 I stuffed my last cardboard box of personal belongings into the cargo hold of my girlfriend's Toyota Rav4, jumped into the passenger seat, and waited while she fussed over a map with directions to our new home. She flipped her shoulder-length hair out of her eyes for the umpteenth time and squinted to read the tiny letters. " She put the Rav into drive, and we started on our way. Darlene was a smart, feisty, and petite brown-haired woman, just under five feet five inches tall, with small breasts, and a freckled baby face.
According to local legend, the original owner ordered the hook's construction to allow him to observe activities of untrustworthy bartenders while also keeping an eye on equally untrustworthy patrons. Hell, she flirted with everyone: men, women, and even the bartender's mangy tomcat.If anything, she was too beautiful and too self-assured. " Darlene touched his hand, and if her smile had been any warmer, the barkeep would have erupted into flame. " Darlene laughed as she raised her index finger and traced a point on the invisible blackboard in the air. She would always laugh and respond, "I guess that would make me a grave robber." A few things attracted me to Darlene. She was so easy going that I once tried to give her the nickname “Lake Placid.” Still waters run deep, and it didn't end well. " "A twofer is the first and last time something happens. Why the fuck would I want to be named after a stagnant pond? Everyone needs a hobby and sex was her diversion from work.The males she flirted with as she worked her way around the tavern were flattered, flustered, and fearful of her attention. After ten or fifteen minutes of flagrantly flirting, Darlene returned to her seat to regroup and refuel. A few moments later, our generous drink master returned with three tall White Russians. "Okay, Dennis, that was a twofer." The book she was reading sailed across the room, missing my head by less than an inch. " Her smile was a weird combo of mischief and annoyance. She collected orgasms like some folks collected postage stamps.She took a small sip and savored it like a gourmet. " She tilted her head back and wolfed it down in one long gulp. Darlene was in a class by herself, and that was a problem. As Darlene studied me, her dark look of frustration gradually brightened, and her emerald eyes sparkled as her grim expression transformed into the predatory smile of a fox. I answered by placing my hand on her knee and mirrored her journey of exploration. Neither of us cared to invest the necessary time to search for the perfect partner, so we settled for close enough for right now.She sparkled like a diamond in a coal bin and scared the shit out of the men she approached. After we moved in together, I would joke that I was “robbing the cradle” when I took her to bed.