Dating rules are stupid
In a nutshell, in TA scripts are different than you've got them -- they result from longterm persistent low level programming by the parent of the opposite sex. (This model goes back to before the disintegration of the two-parent family began.) So a mother will tend to script a son to be like his maternal grandfather, possibly emphasizing his good qualities and excising his bad ones, depending on the mother's relationship with her father and her adult perspective.This is quite different from "role model" concepts of early development which emphasize the same-sex parent. One implication for men is that they should choose woman as mothers whose father they like, because their sons are going to resemble him in a lot of ways.I can finally see how much I DO have to offer to a partner and look so very forward to a mutually satisfying relationship. I am single, yet learning about how to be comfortable in my own skin so when I am confident enough to venture back out into the dating world, I will attract someone who is seeing the real me and not some type of illusion I'm trying to hide behind.Rob and I will go out on our 4th date tonight :) Peace y'all, Denise What a lovely story, Denise! Congrats on reaching your true self and braving the dating world with comfortable success.Keep writing and get this stuff in the main stream where people can learn to stop shooting their selves in the foot.I'm glad to see that someone has some common sense! My thoughts on #1 is, you can wait all you want, if she's promiscuous, I'll figure it out before her phony waiting period is over.I share this here with the hope that it may help folks find comfort when dating and entering into a new relationship...Just prior to celebrating one of the BIG birthdays I did some soul searching and admitted that I had been approaching dating from the wrong perspective.
Also, I hate that sexual double-standard where it's implied that women "give" sex to men. I think it's up to the two folks to determine how long they can date w/o hitting the sheets. I think it's up to the two folks to determine how long they can date w/o hitting the sheets.I had always tried to entice and seduce men, using my physical appearance and feminine wiles (which I believed to be all that I had to offer a man), until I recognized the hazardous pattern of deception I was weaving.Needless to say, my past relationships were never quite right.With that in mind, opening up and getting to know someone does take a certain amount of patience.Assess each new partner as an individual, and stay keenly connected with how you experience yourself while in his or her presence.